If the Coronavirus Could Talk

Q&A with COVID-19

Q: We’ll make this quick because I know you’re extremely busy. This may get a little tense, so let’s start easy. Where are you from?

A: I come from a large family of RNA viruses called Coronavirus. You may have heard of us? We’re pretty well-known because of our bad reputation. It’s difficult to have your family be assimilated with disease, but that’s the truth. We can’t all be given saintly duties in this world. As for me, specifically, I’m not 100% sure where I came from. I am novel, after all (*brushes shoulder*). But I heard on the news that I made my debut in a large food market in Wuhan, China. Now you hear my name across the world. It’s crazy (*shakes head*).

Q: What’s it like being a thing that went viral-excuse the pun-across the world?

A: I’ll tell you it’s tough. I was pretty content in my first home in Animal. Then, in that market, I was transferred to Human. So, given the circumstances, I did what I do best and started replicating. I couldn’t stop myself. Next thing I know, my army of minions were all over. I had my teeth, if you will, in so many humans that I knew I was going viral. I felt bad because some of the humans I lived in died. That’s the hardest things about being a virus. Sometimes you take a life. In this case, I’ve taken several. I really wish I never got…